my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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