I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
