Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
