I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
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