pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Shame - the story of my life.
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