ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
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