***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
