is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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