Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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