ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
