You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
