my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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