I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
