so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
