Kiss
Puke
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
