i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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