I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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