She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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