do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
