I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
