yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
