Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
this must be what syphilis tastes like
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
