i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
