Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
