why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
