i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
im six kinds of drunk right now
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
