My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
