she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
