i would punch a child for taco bell
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
So vagazzling was a success
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