Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize