she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
