I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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