My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize