Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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