I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
