It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
