Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
