I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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