I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
