the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
