Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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