I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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