When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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