just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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