i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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