every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
