so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
