also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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