please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
