It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
