Who did Billy Mays play for?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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