I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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