i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
