dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
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