Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
