cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
