I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
