Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
