I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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