so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
