is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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