sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
